Month: December 2012

Been Too Long

It has been WAY too long since I last posted here.  Between dealing with the loss of mom, a completely chaotic work environment (resulting in total exhaustion by the time I get home), and a Sony laptop that decided to give up the ghost AND the will to live, I haven’t wanted to do ANYTHING other than veg out and do NOTHING on the weekends.

Nothing too new to report.  Still awaiting word on future employment (long story.  Short version…my job has fallen victim along with the approximately 17.5K folks that work for the Air Force with the current economic climate).  But, I have faith that all will sort itself out and we’ll be taken care of the best way the Air Force can take care of us.  One thing that makes me VERY proud to work for the USAF, they ALWAYS take care of their folks the best way they can.  I also have my feelers out for potential jobs elsewhere…so I’m doing my part with what I can and leaving the rest to the powers that be in the government and in the hands of the gods.  It takes a joint effort, right?

As for the laptop issue….I now have a BEAUTIFUL 15″ Macbook Pro.  Lots more memory and works MUCH faster than the VAIO ever did, even when I first purchased it.  Never thought I’d willingly buy an Apple product, but after working on one for the last 2.5 years, I’ve softened my heart a bit and decided it’s the better way to go.  And my Creative Suite programs will run much smoother. 🙂

So, where I am now: Just passed the six month anniversary of mom’s passing.  Got a little misty-eyed, but didn’t cry.  So, I think I’m doing rather well with it all.  I still miss her every day, but the pain softens little by little, week by week.  I did just recently have a day where I needed to vent and cry and I couldn’t do what I normally did: snuggle up in bed with mom and cry while she ran her fingers through my hair and listened, or (since out of the house and living overseas for over a decade) call her.  Instead, I opted to grab her urn off the curio cabinet, place it on my nightstand next to the bed, and curl up and vent and cry.  I figured, “Why stop tradition just because her physical body is no longer in this realm?”  Why stop tradition?  And shockingly, I found it more therapeutic than I thought.  That’s how I’m dealing with it all.  I keep the traditions alive, just slightly altered.  It’s making the healing slightly easier.

Also coming up to the time of year where the people I’ve met and become friends with over the course of a year are moving on to their next locations.  It’s sad when you meet so many awesome people, just to tell them “goodbye” or “see you later” a short time later.  But, that is the lifestyle in which we live with the Armed Forces.  I just look forward to hearing from them on their journeys.

Of course, the local pagan group to which I belong had a fantastic Samhain ritual.  Outdoors…night….big bonfire….ancestors….many concoctions of wonderful liquors, and steak.  Turned out to be a really great evening, and one that I won’t likely ever forget.  The bond I’ve formed with a lot of the folks in the group is strong, and I find kindred spirits in them.  It’s comforting to feel that again.  Next up is Yule, and I can’t WAIT.  Lots of great things in store for that.  And more dear company is coming in for the ritual.  I’m so thankful I have a good support network here.  They may not be blood, but they are most definitely family in every other sense of the word.

I’ve also taken up a hobby of brewing my own mead!  Have a batch going now that a dear friend of mine was kind enough to help me get going again after the first batch kind of fizzled out and died….almost literally.  We managed to revive it and now it’s going strong.  Can’t wait to see how it turns out.  Will definitely post more information when my maiden voyage of brewing is complete. 🙂

So, I guess there’s really not much going on.  Nothing too new.  And I’m determined to start doing more interesting things with my life, just for the sake of actually having something to say other than, “I’m gradually getting over my mom’s death!  Oh, and by the way, this is how boring my life REALLY is!”

So…until I have something more interesting to say…

In frith,